Hey, I’m Allison Ly

(pronounced "LEE”)

I empower 2nd Gen Adults, like you, to strengthen your relationships AND keep caring for your loved ones without sacrificing your needs and your dreams

IS THIS YOU?

You’re a 2nd Gen (your parents were born in another country and migrated to the country you were born in & currently reside in) and..

  • You value and want to help your family

  • You also want a life outside of helping and doing things for your family

  • You have accepted that you can’t do the things you want to do because you need to help your loved ones

  • You get upset at the fact that you can’t live the life you want to

  • You feel guilty often for not being happy helping them

  • You feel like you’re a bad child and that you need to do more … but you don’t want to

You have a hard time saying “no” to your family members

  • And when you do, you feel so bad that you end up doing the thing you said “no” to anyway

  • Then you feel upset, annoyed, resentful for doing the thing

  • You’ve learned that you have to help your family members (And you might want to as well)

  • But you end up losing time on things you want to do (for yourself, for your career, your other relationships)

  • And you end up not doing much for yourself…

Because you’re exhausted. You are burnt out

You don’t have enough time or energy to do the things you want to do

You Often Find Yourself:

  • feeling irritable around your loved ones (when you want to be happy around them)

  • constantly needing to drop whatever it is you’re doing and help your family

  • feeling frustrated and obligated to do things for your loved ones

  • not having time to do things for yourself that you enjoy

  • expecting yourself to not feel upset, annoyed or frustrated (when you had to repeat yourself for the 4th time)

  • scared to say “no” when your family members ask you for something

  • OR unable to say “no” because you don’t know how to say “no” in the way you want

  • You end up leaving your parent’s house feeling bad for being mean and being impatient

Then the GUILT starts to take over

You end up feeling bad that you’re not more helpful

You think you are not doing enough for your family

After all ….

  • you are more educated, more privileged…

  • you are more aware of your feelings

  • you are more aware of their challenges and needs

  • you’re aware of how lucky you are

  • you do want to help them (usually)

So then you start to tell yourself..

  • I am being selfish

  • I am being mean

  • I have a temper

  • I am a bad person, a bad child

But that is NOT true

You are not selfish

You are not mean

You are not a bad person

YOU ARE ACTUALLY JUST…

  • burnt out

  • exhausted (so you don’t have the energy to do more)

  • having difficulty balancing all your responsibilities (2nd gens have a lot more than most people)

  • unsure of how to take care of your needs WHILE also taking care of others

  • not used to sharing your needs and saying “no” (or even “not right now”)

  • scared of hurting other people’s feelings by saying what you want or needs

  • avoiding sharing your needs because you don’t know how

HERE IS THE GOOD NEWS

You can start to take care of your loved ones WHILE taking care of yourself more

You can STOP neglecting your own needs as a knee-jerk reaction

You can start to live more of your life in ways you want to

You can start to strengthen your most important relationships

I’ve seen this happen (and I’ve achieved this in my personal life)

These are the types of things I love to help clients sort through for their unique situations

Introducing….

The Unshaken Confidence Program

Learn Tools to Confidently Strengthen Your Most Important Relationships while Sacrificing Your Needs Less*

With Your Coach: Allison Ly

IMAGINE YOURSELF

Imagine what it would feel like to


Start to feel less stressed

….when you get that phone call from your parents, asking you to help them because you’re more aware of how to balance your needs with theirs

Start to feel more confident

….around knowing and sharing your needs so you can help your loved ones on your own time and feel less resentment than you do now (instead of dodging their phone calls because you don’t know how to say “no” )

Start to enjoy your relationships more

….by spending more time with them in ways you want to (like eating noodle soup together) because you want to do more than just helping them with things


Start to be more like of the version you want to be around your family and loved ones with the Unshaken Confidence Programs

Being able to say “no” with more confidence

Being able to say “yes” to your loved ones, without putting your needs on the back burner

Saying “no” with less guilt, anger and frustration when your family asks you to help them with something

Saying “no” without believing that you are a “bad child”

Helping your family while still being able to LIVE YOUR LIFE

Creating space for more happy times with your loved ones

Yes! I’ve Seen It Happen

It’s possible to care for yourself AND your loved ones without feeling resentful and irritable all the time*

It’s possible to care for your parents and family members, who have sacrificed so much for your family while taking care of yourself too*

  • Set boundaries

  • Feel more confident in saying “no” (aka set boundaries)

  • Create space to say “yes” to things you are more excited about

  • Feel more energized through self care

  • Continue to help others with your needs in mind

  • Show up as the best version of yourself with your loved ones

  • Create more balance so you feel taken care of

  • Sustain your desire and ability to care for those you love 

What skills are taught in The Unshaken Confidence Programs?

Tools to help you discover how you want to:

Learn the tools to help you start to feel more empowered and confident in

  • knowing what your needs are

  • why it’s been challenging for you and what to do about and

  • feel confident in saying “no” and living more of your life

Let’s get you unstuck

  • See if there are ways you are sabotaging getting your needs met and what to do about it,

  • Learn WHY saying “no”, living more of your life, and taking care of yourself is important in setting boundaries

  • By gaining tools and practicing the skills to help you feel more empowered to know how to say “no” when you want to.

Start enjoying more of your relationships, today! 

What’s available through the Unshaken Confidence Programs

Option 1:
Do It Yourself

Unshaken Confidence:
The Course
$247

What's Included:

Concise Videos Trainings & Worksheets

  • Trainings specific to 2nd gens

  • How to say “no” (aka set boundaries)

  • Trainings on how to practice doing more of what you want to do

  • Learn to move past the barriers and strengthen the relationships closest to you

  • 1 year access to course materials

Option 2:
Do It With Support

Unshaken Confidence: Course & Group Coaching
$947

What’s Included:

Everything from the Unshaken Confidence Course (training videos, worksheets and 1 year access) PLUS

5 Live 60- Minute Group Coaching Calls

Live Group Coaching Calls Will Help:

  • You practice the skills with real-time support

  • Increase your confidence

  • Deep-Dive into your challenges

Not sure which program is for you? Click here to book a call with Allison to learn more!

More details on the two programs:

What’s Included:

everything from the Unshaken Confidence: Course (training videos, worksheets and one year of access to course materials -See above for more detailed info)

PLUS

  • 5 Live 60- Minute Group Coaching Calls

Live Group Coaching Calls Will Help:
- You practice the skills with real-time support
- Increase your confidence
- Deep-Dive into your challenges

Live Group Coaching Calls:

Every other week on Mondays (we meet one week, skip the next).

Meeting biweekly starting May 13; 10AM PST

  • May 13 

  • May 28 *Tuesday: special day due to holiday 

  • June 10 

  • June 24 

  • July 8

For these live Zoom calls you will remain anonymous unless you choose to get on camera live

Questions can be submitted ahead of time whether you attend or not

Replays will be available to everyone in the program whether or not you attend live

What will you get in the Do It Yourself Option?
Unshaken Confidence: Course Only 

What will you get in the Do It With Support Option?
Unshaken Confidence: Course & Group Coaching

Training Videos & Worksheets:

Videos will be dripped out biweekly (every 2 weeks) basis beginning Monday May 6.

Why is it dripped? To help let you have time to take action and review what you want to do

Training Topics:

  • My 3 step framework to guide you through saying “no” with more confidence

  • How to say “no” (aka set boundaries)

  • Have more helpful thoughts

  • Reduce negative self-talk

  • What to do when guilt kicks in

Videos will be to the point to help you save time and
to start living more of the life you want, quicker

You will get one year of access to course materials (starting from when the last video is released).

Worksheets Goals:

  • To help you master the skills

  • Get your brain thinking about how the info applies to you

  • Think about your unique experiences with your goals in mind

MEET YOUR COACH

Hey! I’m Allison Ly

After helping 2nd Gens get unstuck and gain confidence in themselves to find ways to strengthen their relationships in private practice for over 6 years as a LCSW,

I realized that this solution needed to be made accessible to MORE people.

That’s why I created The Unshaken Confidence Program to help 2nd Gens like you live more of your life, WHILE still taking care of the ones you love.

I’ve been there.

And I know what it might feel like for you as a 2nd Gen

I also know these tools have helped me and my clients live more of the life they want by being more informed, and feeling more confident and more empowered to take action

And you can learn these tools to start to feel more empowered to have the relationships you’ve been craving, too

With all the challenges that come with balancing two worlds, and two different expectations - learning to set navigate your needs with your family’s need is SO difficult, especially as a second generation adult 

You’ve been trying to do it all

On your own

At the expense of yourself

You’ve read articles, books

But it’s still a challenge

And you don’t need to do it alone anymore

With my 3 step framework, there will be a walk through of questions to ask yourself, factors to consider, things to think about. The goal is to EMPOWER you to feel more confidence in knowing why you’re doing the things you’re doing, and why that’s important to you.

That way, if you want, you can find ways to care for your loved while still making time for you to do more of what you want to do.

As a 2nd Gen myself, I have overcome many challenges that are so unique to an adult child with immigrant parents.

My goal is to help as many 2nd gens as I can and provide you (and them) with more information, knowledge and skills to help them feel more supported in their goals of enjoying more of their relationships.

More about Allison Ly

When 2nd gens are able to do set boundaries (aka say “no”), they don’t have to think that cutting ties with the people they love and want to care for the most, is the only option available to them.

They also don’t need to continue to sacrifice their needs to support and care for others all the time. They won’t need to feel so burnt out, tired, guilty and resentful for how they are feeling as much anymore.

Allison wants to help more 2nd gens move from feeling stuck,
to supported, to feeling empowered to live the life they want

In addition to being a coach here in her Unshaken Confidence Programs, Allison is also a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who had her private practice working as a LCSW with 2nd Generation Adults for over 6 years.

Through her work in private practice she saw how there was a common feeling of loneliness in the 2nd gen’s experiences. When in actuality, these challenges and experiences were so commonly felt by so many 2nd gens.

That’s why Allison wanted to create a her Unshaken Confidence Programs and a community to help 2nd gens feel more understood and supported in their experiences.

She also felt it was important to create programs to help share information and tools that have also helped many 2nd gens. She’s helped 2nd gens learn how to set boundaries in ways that work for them, with their experiences and values in mind.

On a personal note: 

  • Allison is a 2nd generation adult as well! She has personally experienced what it’s like to grow up as a 2nd Gen in Los Angeles, California. Allison is Chinese but identifies as Chinese-Vietnamese and speaks Vietnamese conversationally. 

  • Fun fact! Allison did not know she was 100% Chinese until she had to write a paper on her family background in one of her Asian American Studies Classes in undergrad at UCSB! Before that I thought I was 50% Chinese (Teo-Chew) and 50% Vietnamese.

  • She also has an Australian-Shepherd mix dog and a toddler. She understands some of the unique challenges in being in the “sandwich” generation as a 2nd gen. (Also having a child can really be challenging in learning and communicating the boundaries you want your parents to hold, as well as what boundaries you want with your own family!)

Answers to Frequently Asked Questions

  • This is for you if you experience any of the following:

    • You have difficulty saying “no” to others (aka hard time setting boundaries)

    • You are feeling burnt out and tired from caring for others’ needs more than your own 

    • You want to take care of yourself more, but you feel guilty doing so

    • You want to learn how to give back to your parents, your family who sacrificed so much for you without having to sacrifice your own needs

    • You don’t want to cut ties with your loved ones, but feel like that might be the best option at this point and you don’t want that to happen

    • You can adequately set boundaries in other areas of your life, but somehow with your loved ones it is soooo difficult and you need extra support with the relationship piece

    • You’re ready to feel more supported in your relationships and live more of your life in the way you want

    • If you are seeking mental health therapy

      • Although Allison is also a LCSW, this is a separate business and a different role that you will be working with Allison in. Within Unshaken Gens and any programs within Unshaken Gens (e.g. The Unshaken Confidence Programs), you will be working with Allison as your coach. This is not and will never be mental health therapy

    • Someone who is experiencing severe mental health, physical or any medical health problems.

      • Both programs are not suited to help those who are experiencing severe mental or physical health problems. Both programs are not mental health or medical health services and are not a replacement for any medical services you may benefit from.

      • This is a coaching program and we do not focus on processing your past or trauma(s) if any. Please seek services from a qualified health professional.

    • Someone who does not want to work on strengthening their relationships with their loved one

    • If you have been and/or are currently a therapy client with Allison

  • Allison Ly founded Unshaken Gens and created The Unshaken Confidence Programs.

    Allison has personal experience and has helped 2nd Gens strengthen their relationships through boundary setting.

    Allison fully recognizes that all experiences are very unique and there is no one size fits all type of solution. What may work for you may not work for others, and the goal is to help you learn how to make decisions you are satisfied with.

    She believes the information and tools she provides can help EMPOWER you to get closer to your goals of improving your relationships with your loved ones.

    Learn more about who Allison Ly is here and why she created these programs

  • We will gladly answer any questions you may have!

    Feel free to submit your questions here

  • Time boundaries are helpful to have.

    Having a container of time can help us take more intentional, effective, planned action. With time limits we are more willing and motivated to take actions on the things we want.

    And for a lot of us (like Pavlov Law states) having too long of an interval may prevent us from taking steps towards our goals.

    Especially since time is not something we can get back; this is intended to help you all work towards your goals of strengthening your relationships quicker, but still with some space to move at your own pace.

  • For The Unshaken Confidence Course Only you can pay $247 in full OR pay in 2 installments* of $142 each.

    For The Unshaken Confidence Course and Coaching you can pay $947 in full at

    OR pay in 4 installments* for $259 each month.

    *Please be reminded these installment plans are available to help your budgeting purposes- this is not a membership and you cannot cancel any payments. If you sign up you are agreeing to the specific installment plan for the full amount.

    Click here for more info on the programs.

  • There are two options:
    1) Do It Yourself Option: The Unshaken Confidence Course Only OR
    2) Do it With Support Option: The Unshaken Confidence Course and Group Coaching

    More info:

    The Do It with Support Option (The Unshaken Confidence: The Course and Coaching) includes everything from The Course AND has 5 Live 60 minute Group Coaching Calls.

    Here’s what’s included in The Unshaken Confidence Course -which is included in both options (the coaching is the add on with the Do It With Support)

    • Concise Videos Trainings & Worksheets

    • Trainings specific to 2nd gens

    • How to say “no” (aka set boundaries)

    • Trainings on how to practice doing more of what you want to do

    • Learn to move past the barriers and strengthen the relationships closest to you

    Get more info on The Unshaken Confidence Programs here

  • You can submit your questions ahead of time for The Unshaken Confidence Course and Coaching option. Your questions will be addressed and you will get the replay within 48 business hours.

    Everyone in the program will get access to all the replays.

    • “Coaching [is] as partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.” - International Coaching Federation

    • Coaches will help you get to solutions faster by asking you questions

    • Coaching is client led

    • “The coach’s responsibility is to:

      • Discover, clarify and align with what the client wants to achieve

      • Encourage client self-discovery

      • Elicit client-generated solutions and strategies

      • Hold the client responsible and accountable” -International Coaching Federation

    • Unshaken Gens provides ONLY coaching.

    • Unshaken Gens and all of its programs (Unshaken Confidence Programs) is not a medical services

      • Coaching programs do not provide a diagnosis. You will not receive any type of medical services. This is not a medical service

    • Unshaken Gens and all of its programs (Unshaken Confidence Programs) is not mental health service.

      • Coaching is not mental health therapy and can never become mental health therapy.

      • The Unshaken Confidence Programs are coaching programs

    • All team members of Unshaken Gens (e.g. Allison Ly) are coaches or team members.

      • Please seek services from a medical professional if you are seeking any type of medical services (including mental health).

    • Coaching does not include processing your past or work on healing from your past and any trauma(s).

      • Please see a medical professional if you are interested in those activities.

  • Yes! With both programs, the goal is to help you strengthen your relationships and set boundaries in a way that works for you. So if you have any questions about the information there will be forms set up for you to ask. More info on that once you join!

    The goal is to empower you to decide how you want to implement the information.

    With the Course and Coaching Option, you will get an additional opportunity to ask questions about the course and implementation on the live calls!

  • There will be no refunds due to the nature of the course set up and materials.

    We will work together to address any questions you may have because we want you to be get closer to your goals of strengthening your relationships and gaining unshaken confidence.

    If you have any additional questions about the programs before purchasing, feel free to contact us here. We would love to answer any questions you have!

    You can also book a call here to speak with Allison about what’s good fit for you!

Is your question not answered here? Submit your question here Or book a call with me here to see which program is a good fit for you

* Your individual results may vary. There is no promised outcome

Everyone has unique circumstances that will play a role in their results. That’s why I meet my clients where they are at.
You will get information and frameworks to help you decide how you want to proceed.