You Feel Like a “Bad Daughter” Even When You’re Doing So Much

Written By Hey Allison Ly

Join my Free Training: Discover the secret to feeling more emotionally secure when spending time with your immigrant parents without people pleasing & spiraling in guilt

➡️ https://heyallisonly.com/secret

From Obligation to Choice, Relearning How to Show Up

I shared my story as a daughter of immigrant parents and why this work around guilt, people pleasing, and emotional self-care matters so deeply.

I talk about the invisible emotional weight many adults with immigrant parents carry, the pressure to always show up, and how guilt and negative self-talk can quietly drive our choices without us even realizing it.

This episode explores:

  • Why small moments with immigrant parents can feel unexpectedly heavy

  • What happens when you force yourself to show up when you’re already depleted

  • Why self-care isn’t selfish, especially in immigrant families

  • How learning emotional regulation skills can help you feel better sooner

  • The importance of repair

  • Why boundaries don’t mean you love your parents less

This episode is for adults with immigrant parents who:

  • Feel stuck between caring for themselves and caring for family

  • Struggle with guilt, resentment, or people pleasing

  • Want healthier relationships without cutting ties

  • Are tired of feeling emotionally exhausted after family interactions

You don’t have to choose between yourself and your parents.

There are more options than you think.

Join my Free Training to learn more about your options

👉 Sign up here: https://heyallisonly.com/secret

📅 February 26, 2026 (or visit the link for the next available training)

And also learn practical tools to help you stop spiraling in guilt and start feeling more emotionally secure with your immigrant parents.

🎧 Listen to the full episode HERE

Allison’s Free Resources:

Stop Spiraling in Guilt Cheatsheet For Setting Boundaries: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/cheatsheet  

3 Easy Ways to Tackle Your Negative Self Talk: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/start  

Get my Free Quickstart Guide to Help You Help Your Loved Ones: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/resource  

Get my weekly emails for actionable tips, tools, relatable stories for Adults with Immigrant Parents: https://heyallisonly.com/email

Episode Timeline:

  • 0:30 - Why This Work Matters

  • 1:00 - The Immigrant Parent Experience

  • 2:00 - How I Got My Time Back

  • 3:30 - Real Example: Today's Letter

  • 7:30 - You Have the Power to Feel Better

  • 8:30 - Moving Out

  • 13:00 - Breaking the Autopilot Pattern

  • 15:00 - Join us Feb 26, 2026

Hey Allison Ly

Allison Ly (pronounced "LEE"), Coach for Adults with Immigrant Parents. Helping you unlock your fullest potential, live your best life while also giving back to your loved ones in a way that works for you.

My Unshaken Confidence™ Coaching Program builds on my 6 years+ as a licensed therapist and personal journey as a daughter of immigrant parents and I am excited to work with you on this through your journey in living your best life.

Some of my favorite topics include: boundaries, self compassion, managing our negative thoughts and all things that impact adults with immigrant parents. I empower you to leave the self-doubt, and self-sacrificing patterns behind while caring for those you love, in ways that work for you.

https://www.heyallisonly.com
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The First Step To Stop the Overwhelm